Have Vanity Plate, Suck Ass

Your vanity plate sucks. I want you to know from the get-go that your vanity plate cuts the odds that I will enjoy your company down by about 90%. It’s kind of you, actually, to let me know up front that you have a shallow, shirt-sleeve sense of humor in such a simple and time-conscious way. But some of you gross infringers need a stern talking to. Some of you need even more than that. For example, the guy in the yellow Ferrari with STMACHDR on the plate needs a new merkin. The bitch in the Land Rover with MKN MUVZ on the ass deserves a mickey in her Red Bull and vodka at the next “networking event” at dradnatS ehT.

Call the DMV and have them send you a normal-person plate with the random numbers on it. Trust me on this. It’s not funny or clever. It’s wack.

Speaking of the DMV though, I think they’re running a scam with the cops here in LA. Both Paul and I both got sent a single license plate from the DMV when we bought cars, when it’s the law to have two plates on your car! What kind of shit is that? If it’s the law to have two plates on your car then shouldn’t the law dictate the DMV is to send you two plates? I’ve gotten “no front plate” tickets twice, once by a parking cop. Bastards.